Don't Be a Goofus!

I have a crush on a boy named Smalls.

(Not to be confused with Squints. Unlike the Friendly Kisser, I prefer not to kiss minors.)

He really is a grown-up Smalls. He's sooo nice, a little dorky, short, and has a pretty serious obsession with baseball.  Oh and did I mention his favorite movie is The Sandlot? Fortunately, he doesn't wear hats with 6 inch brims, but you get the picture.

We met way back in September, but we didn't ever talk to each other until January. You see, he's the roommate of Rand, so he's been coming over a lot more as of late. I didn't think twice about him up until a few weeks ago, but then one day we bonded over our love of baseball and hatred of the Yankees, and suddenly we've become great friends. Over the past week and a half he's texted me every day, invited me to do things with him, and done all the other usual "I'm interested in you" type things. Let me just say that he is the sweetest guy on the face of the planet. I've never met a more thoughtful guy than Smalls. Even though we haven't been on a date yet, he always opens my doors and does all the other little chivalrous things a girl could hope for.

Now, I'm still a little unsure about my feelings for Smalls. I have some reservations about him still. Mostly I'm just not sure if he's too nice, and I'm not sure if I could handle dating someone who's my height or shorter than me. But I'm excited to get to know him more! Even if nothing happens, we'll be good friends and I'm fine with that. I'm going on a date with him tonight, so I'll try as hard as I can to not be a goofus, and we'll just have to see what happens after that!

That's all for now.
-The Cautious Charmer

It's raining men! Hallelujah?

Oh hey, it's Valentine's Day. Good luck with your love folks, I know I'll need it.

I know this has been mentioned before, but it's so true:
when it rains, it freaking pours.
You may not have noticed, but my boy life has been really quite dull over the last few months. I obviously had some stories last semester, but overall, nothing significant has occurred in my dating life in 6 months. But now all of the sudden, in just the last two weeks I'm getting flooded out.

Rand al'Thor is still just hanging around and trying to make me love him and I'm still undecided.
Okay, so maybe that's not exactly how it's happening... but pretty much.
I just adore him and his sense of humor and his overall sweetness. There's just something about him that I can't get over, and I honestly can't figure out what it is. Sometimes I think it's because he's super awkward, and sometimes I think it's because he's kind of negative, and sometimes I think I'm just completely making up excuses. He comes over to my apartment every night and I completely enjoy it, but I just don't know if I actually feel for him the way that he wants me to.

Then there's Bodhai. He is obsessed with rap and I love that; he in no way a gangster, though I think he sometimes thinks he is. A very good friend of mine introduced me to Bodhai two weeks ago and set us up on a date last weekend. It was wonderful and so was he. I still don't know him super well, but I definitely want to. One problem: he doesn't like sports [yes, I have similar concerns as Miss Inconsistent]. But I have to keep reminding myself that I can't immediately discount him because of that. I have enjoyed every second that I have spent with him thus far, so we will see what happens.

And then there's Mr. Director. Where the heck did he come from? He's been in my ward for months and a week and a half ago he couldn't even remember my name. Then he super randomly asked me on a date for last weekend. It was fun and had good conversation, but I could never like him. After that date I thought we would just be good friends, but I guess Mr. Director has other plans. He has contacted me every day since and made an effort to come visit me each day as well, but I've been busy and his plans have been constantly thwarted. I feel bad and I do want to give him a legitimate chance, but between school, work, and figuring out what's happening with both Rand and Bodhai - I just don't have time!

The Friendly Kisser

Strange Attraction

It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was spending time staring at my computer, thinking about how much of my essay I would have finished had I started on it earlier that morning. I was too far-gone, though, as thoughts of my roommate’s recital that night flashed through my mind. I knew she was going to kill it, and the best part was that Juan was going to be there to witness it with me.

In case you didn’t notice, I really suck at coming up with codenames.

You see, Juan is the new boy that I’ve kinda been interested in lately. The best way I know how to describe my interest is that I’m strangely attracted to him. Yes, strangely. He is nothing like anyone I have ever liked in the past, especially when you compare him to the boy that I was finally able to get over after a year.

Don’t worry; I’ll get to him later.

While this boy, Juan, has all of the core attributes that I adore, including a killer sense of humor and awesome taste in music, he also has a lot of, let’s say, unique attributes. His favorite form of literature is a comic book, he has a plethora of cat shirts, he has a gnarly mustache, and he hates sports.

Yeah, he hates sports. Try to wrap your head around that one. This is the part where you ask me why I’m still attracted to him. I HAVE NO FETCHING IDEA.

To further the conundrum, I must also shed some light on my No Weenies policy. You see, if I meet a guy and feel like I can:

A) Beat him in an arm-wrestle,

B) Throw a football further than him, or

C) Do both at the same time,

Then we probably have a problem. I really don’t like the idea of me being the physically stronger person in a relationship. Some girls are all for that, but it just won’t work for me. I have an irrational fear of my husband one day coming to me and being like, “Hey honey, I can’t unscrew the lid to this jar. Will you do it for me?” And I’ll be like, “Yeah, let me take a break from lifting all these weights and use my masculine undertones to manhandle that for ya.”

Eww.

Anyway, this kid Juan is bordering on violating my No Weenies policy, but there’s something about him that fascinates me. He makes me laugh all the time, he’s super laid back and doesn’t take himself so seriously, and he knows what he wants to do in life. To me, that’s attractive. Everything else makes it, well, strangely attractive.

Now that my description of Juan is out of the way, I can get back to the story. So, I was waiting around my apartment semi-patiently for the night’s festivities when I got a call from a kid in my ward named Diddy. He asked me on a last-minute date, but I told him my situation with the recital and instead invited him to come to that. So, as expected, he did. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was for him to awkwardly follow me around for the remainder of the evening. It’s like he wasn’t there, but I knew he was there, always in my peripheral.

Don’t get me wrong, Diddy’s a great guy, but it was hard for me to give him the attention that he needed when I just wanted to be with Juan.

Oh, and remember that one guy I said I had finally gotten over? (We’ll call him MJ.) Yeah, don’t worry, but he came to the recital, too. The worst part was that he came alone, so I felt bad just leaving him there to fend for himself.

It was like I was torn between eating three completely different cakes. I knew for sure that I wanted one cake in particular, but I knew that I had to dabble in the other two or else they would somehow feel bad.

Wow. It is very possible that was the worst analogy I’ve ever come up with.

Finally Diddy and MJ made their exits and I was able to focus on just one boy again. Juan and a few of my roommates ended up coming back to my apartment to play games. We had just started when there was a knock at the door. In usual fashion, we yelled “Come In!” at the top of our lungs, curious as to who was there.

My mind wet itself as Brian walked in.

Dude! What the fetch are you doing here?!

Brian is the boy that I was nearly dating fall semester. Things were going great, but then Christmas break happened and things kind of fizzled. Being back to school I had seen him a few times, but nothing else had happened.

Oh, and did I mention that he’s Juan’s roommate? The plot thickens …

So these are the boys that have played significant parts in my life as of late. They're all so different, lending validity to my penname, but I have learned important lessons from each of them. I started with describing Juan because he's the one that is most recent, but I will definitely make sure to get to the others.

Stay tuned!

- Miss Inconsistent

You Sneaky Sigmund!

As promised, an update on our dear friend Sigmund. Last you heard, he had devastated me with his questions concerning OTHER women. We had made it through Christmas break with the "love" still flowin, only to have him turn on me and pull the "friend" card. Here's the past three weeks in a confusing/infuriating nutshell: 

After call #2 of him asking me advice about some other chick, I decided I didn't want to live in confusion and pain. He obviously didn't like me, so I would text him and give him the quick opportunity to let me know so that I could officially move on. (Yes, I'm big on closure things like this. Without them, it takes me about 3 times longer to move on and stop analyzing everything.) However, it didn't end up being the simple closure I had imagined. He ended up coming over to talk. Coming over! That's like.. DTR status right there. We'd been on a mere 2 dates. 

We went out to his car and, long story short, he said he was super confused and feeling a wee bit uneasy. UNEASY.. key words for "I don't like you enough," right? So I went inside, had a bawl fest, and moved on. Really, I did quite well after the first initial punch in the face. 

2 WEEKS LATER. 

Sigmund calls. He wants to catch up and go to lunch on Saturday. WHAT?!? Okay, whatever. He just wants to be friends. This is "fun."

1 WEEK LATER. 

Sigmund texts me on a Friday night and wants to come hang out. What, WHAT?! 

Interspersed between these two occurances, Sigmund has been flirting and talking to me just like normal. We don't text or call as much, but when I do see him he seems to go out of his way to talk to me, trip me, poke me, or do other random silly flirty things. 

Clearly Sigmund is a confused soul. I wanted things to work out with us SO bad, only to have him shut me down with his "uneasy" line. Now, he's crawling back with one of those sneak attack moves! 

Or... is he? Cause I clearly don't understand this man. What I DO understand: I was successful enough in moving on a few weeks ago that I'm not sure how I feel about his sneak attacks. 

The One Timer: Over and Out