There is no getting over the Boy Next Door

I just found this paragraph in an old draft that I never actually published, and I felt like it was too good not be shared, and it is sadly still applicable to my life:

Then there is, of course, the Boy Next Door still just hanging about all the time in our neighboring house. It's very distracting. He is witty and kind and hilarious and strong. Yeah, he's basically just perfection. And he is also moving away for good in one week. We have become close friends and I just enjoy his company in all situations and I wish with all my heart that we had the opportunity to develop a relationship, but alas, it is not meant to be. He is graduating and moving to the beach to have a real adult job in the big city. Basically he's just moving on, and I'm still here like, "Hey! Look, there's this thing called a job that I don't have."

This was written in August at a point in my life that should have been the end of my Boy Next Door stories. But alas, I can't stay away from perfect imperfection. That is honestly how I feel about him: I feel like he seems perfect because he is so wonderfully imperfect in the best ways. He's adorably awkward, but not too much. He is smart and focused and can occasionally let that be overwhelming. He is adventurous, but not crazy. Basically, I just adore him. And he now lives in another state.
Over the last 5 months, we will call each other and talk every couple weeks and I will leave the conversation in great distress over our lack of relationship. We just get along so well and I honestly believe that if we lived in the same place, then we would be dating. But alas, distance is keeping us apart.

And then he came to visit last week.

Before I tell this story, I must preface with: I am not a terrible person and I do not have a dramatic personality. I must state these facts because sometimes my story with the Boy Next Door can give off vibes that indicate otherwise.

I have a crazy roommate. (I promise this is relevant) I love her, but she is a crazy person and she has weird opinions about the world and her perception of her life and those around her is often skewed. She kind of terrifies me when she gets mad and she is very opinionated. And she is in love with the Boy Next Door, which means she is very possessive of him. She is the reason I didn't pursue him over the summer, because I was trying to respect her. Everyone knows that nothing will ever happen between them, but she just won't accept that. She gets very upset whenever I am around him or speak of him because maybe the day before he moved away back in August we cuddled and talked until 3 in the morning and maybe she came out and shouted at us and maybe he just told her to mind her own business because we're all adults. Just maybe.

So he came last week and called me as he entered the city because I was the first person he wanted to see when he got in town, and so we met up for some food . We decided it was best just not to mention it to my roommate. I saw him a couple of times in his week long visit and my heart was full of joy. I kept getting side comments from my roommate about how she had seen him and it was too bad I missed him yet again. I would just nod and not respond because I was not in the mood to get in a fight over him, and I needed to respond to his most recent texts anyway.

Basically, The Boy Next Door no longer lives next door, but I still feel exactly the same about him as I always have and it's very frustrating because I know I would fail at long distance relationships.

The mission of love.

Today I will address a topic to which I am very sensitive:
Waiting for Missionaries

I have had some experience with multiple sides and perspectives of the whole waiting for missionary experience. My freshman year I dated a dear boy who left on a mission. We were both under the impression that I would date other people while he was gone, but if I was still single when he got back, we would definitely date and probably get married. He came back, I was single, we didn't date, that was almost 2 years ago and he's married now (not to me, obviously).
I knew a lot of girls when I was 19 and 20 who were waiting for missionaries. Something I could never handle was the girls who refused to date anyone else for a whole 2 years because they were waiting for this boy. I felt like they were limiting their opportunities to meet new people and possibly meet someone who would be better for them. Most of those girls ended up getting married to someone else before their missionary got home. Yes, some of those "waiting" relationships worked out, but not most.
And then the missionary age change happened. I was just about to turn 22, so it didn't effect me, but I swear it effected every person around me. It changed the face of dating in Provo for the next couple of years. Now I have to face something that I rarely was confronted with before the age change: boys waiting for missionaries. There are tons of them. Boys who started dating and fell in love with a girl even though they knew she was working on her mission papers. Boys who fooled themselves into thinking they could convince these girls to stay home and marry them. Boys who were brokenhearted when these girls still decided to go on their missions. And boys who are either struggling at dating or just not dating period because they are convinced they will marry this girl when she returns.
This is the world we live in now. It's making dating way more complicated than it needs to be. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
There are multiple boys that I have wanted to date, who are perfectly wonderful, but won't consider dating anyone because they are waiting for a missionary. Some examples? Most recently and heartbreakingly: Samwise. And also a couple other boys who I have yet to mention because nothing significant has ever developed.
Am I just being overly sensitive because my heart is invested in Samwise? Possibly, but I honestly think this is a problem in Provo right now. I just want to slap every boy who is waiting for a missionary and say "If she really wanted to marry you, she wouldn't have left!!" Maybe that wouldn't be the best approach, but I think that in many cases it is so true. The first wave of sister missionaries will start coming home in about 6 months, so it will be interesting to see what happens. Yes, I'm sure some of these "waiting" relationships will end up working out and they will get married and live happily ever after, but in general, I see these relationships playing out much like those I observed back when all the guys my age were on missions. I don't think the relationships will work out, to no fault of the boy or the girl. People just change and 18 months is a long time. If someone is truly invested in the work of the Lord, I honestly think that they should not be worrying about the girl or boy back home waiting to marry them.