Mr. Green in the Closet with the Revolver

I think I'll follow in the footsteps of the One Timer and write a Halloween themed post for you. Get ready, this story is full of mystery, murder, and well...disappointment.
About a month or so ago my coworker decided to set me up with her cousin, Mr. Green. After a little facebook stalking, I agreed to this plan. After all, I do love a good blind date. Unfortunately, from my experience, only about 10% of blind dates fall into this category. Nevertheless, I decided to hope for the best and try my luck. After Mr. Green called me to officially ask me out, I was actually pretty excited for this date. He seemed really nice and funny. Half of the excitement was that we were going to a Mystery Date Dinner, which I'd never done before, but had always wanted to.
The night of the date, I got all dressed up in my costume and waited for Mr. Green to pick me up. I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, he showed up 35 minutes late. According to Mr. Green, he had been playing Ultimate Frisbee and forgotten about the date.
Dating Rule #47- If a boy forgets that he asked you out, it's doubtful that your date will go very well.
I overlooked this rule, and decided to still give Mr. Green a chance. He was very easy to talk to, super funny, and overall a really great guy. On the drive to the dinner we had a great conversation, and I felt assured that this would be a night that would end up in the top 10% of blind dates.
When we got to the dinner, we made an alliance with another couple and attempted to discover the murderer. Throughout the evening, Mr. Green kept making awkward comments about how I needed to meet him in the closet to exchange our answers. Weird. Anyway, things were fine until at the end when I'd gotten all my answers, I decided to break all alliances and try to win on my own. He got really offended and went in the kitchen for a while instead of playing games. Woops. I guess some people take these things very seriously. At the end of the night he said he had fun, but he was mad at me because I'd never met him in the closet. I know he was trying to be funny, but it just ended up being really strange. On the drive home, he made several attempts to make the date longer by suggesting that we go get food, go to a dance party, or that he teach me how to drive stick shift. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Green was a great guy and I had had a lot of fun, but after almost 6 hours, he was starting to get on my nerves. I made excuse after excuse after excuse so finally I think he got the hint and dropped me off.

And that ladies and gentlemen was just another night in the 90% of disappointing blind dates.

-The Cautious Charmer

I've been attacked by a ZOMBIE

Sometimes boys are like Zombies. They keep coming back to life and won’t die, no matter how desperately you want them to.

Being the Halloween season, I think it only appropriate to tell you my ZOMBIE story.

It begins back in High School. Our families became good friends and I inevitably fell for him. It was a good hard crush and nothing more. He even liked me back and we had a mutual “I like you, you like me” elementary school-esque non-relationship. However, after almost a year of that he decided to move on. I was crushed, but slowly got over him. STRIKE ONE.

A year and a half later… we’d both dated other people and had graduated from High School. Just before both coming up to school, Zombie Boy came back to life again. I was SURE that my feelings had completely left! But no. We dated, only to break up before he went on his mission. This time, my heart broke. I didn’t realize how much I cared for Zombie Boy! It was definitely one of those I’m-in-love-so-you-just-shattered-my-universe breakups. Oh, but he had/has no idea how hard that was for me. STRIKE TWO.

He went on a mission. He came home. That was 7 months ago. For the first 6 months of his return, I was quite content with the fact that I had no feelings for him anymore! I had conquered the Zombie!

Alas, he came back to life again.

Just this month, I’ve been seeing him randomly on campus and spending time with him in small spurts. Somehow there is a spark between us again. Curse those Zombies. I don’t know if my heart can handle a Strike Three!

SO, have three options: Wait silently for the Zombie to make the first move (hoping he does), put my heart out on the line and confess my feelings to the Zombie, or find a really effective Machete.

The One Timer: Over and Out.

Rarely are men compared to a Norse god

Now here's a story for you. Oh boy. I have just amazed myself with the gentlemen that I've been attracted to in the recent months. Thor is no exception.
This guy is so different from anyone I have ever had a crush on. He is huge! 6'5" and really ripped. He works out more than anyone I've ever seen. He could probably beat up most everyone that I know. True to the Thor name, he has beautiful blonde hair, which sadly he cut last week, though it's still great. He has a bunch of tattoos, the most visible being the big block letters on his forearms that say Ride to Live, Live to Ride. Which leads me into the fact that he has a motorcycle, and it is beautiful. I am terrified of motorcycles (due to some past bad experiences with dirt bikes) but somehow Thor makes me want to let him help me get over my fear of riding a motorcycle. Needless to say, he's definitely got the Bad-A image going on. But the strange thing is that talking to him, you realize he is the sweetest, most sincere human being in the world. He has had a rough past, but he turned his life around about a year ago, and that gives me so much respect for him.
Thor is in 2 of my classes, so I see him everyday, and our friendship has grown greatly in the last few weeks.  It's not necessarily that I like him, though I am definitely attracted to him. I think it's more that I love being around him because he gives me a different perspective of life and makes me rethink any preconceived notions I've ever had about everything. Also I feel so comfortable around him. There is absolutely no level of judgement, even when I have spazzy moments or make weird noises or am just quiet because I have nothing left to say. He just accepts that I am me and that he may not understand some of the things I do or think, and that it's okay. Thor amazes me with how he handles all of the judgment and self-righteous people that he is surrounded by. He just rolls with it and still loves most everyone. What I like most about him is that he has so much conviction to his personal values. He knows what he believes and he is willing to do whatever it takes to live up to those beliefs. I am perfectly fascinated by his approach to life.
So I don't particularly know what I want to happen with Thor, if I want anything to happen at all... But I do know that I adore him and could spend tons of time getting to know him and learning his story.

The Friendly Kisser.

He's good at scattergories.

I am a secretary. I see some crazy things. But this story from last week takes the cake.
We get lots of packages nearly everyday. There's about 3 different people that typically bring the packages. One of these guys has been coming for nearly a year and in our semi-daily, 30 second encounters, I've become a fan of his foolishness. I know back in March he would tell me about his girlfriend and I had just assumed that they got married over the summer. So last Thursday when he came to pickup a package and he told me that he had "a proposition" for me and to check my schedule for Saturday at 5, I was really confused. So on Friday he comes in and is extremely awkward and finally manages say that he wants to set me up on a date with his friend who is very good at scattergories. I suppose that this could be a good thing, but I took it as a bad sign that the best thing this kids friend could say about him is that he's good at scattergories. But I agreed nevertheless, convinced by the fact that it was a group date and I like the mail-room guys that would be there.

So Saturday came and I was at the football game. I told my date to pick me up half an hour late because I couldn't leave the game early. He didn't seem super understanding of that, so that was a bad sign. I don't know if I would ever like a boy that doesn't watch football.

And then the date... So the other 6 couples on this date all knew each other really well (2 of them were even married). And they were all aware of the strange situation of our blind date: I got set up on a date by someone that I don't even really know.

So the night was a blast, but the date wasn't particularly fun... I don't know if that makes sense, but that's how it was. Everyone we were with was so fun and we played hilarious games and watched The Avengers. Overall, some excellent activities. However, my specific date was very awkward. I told my fair share of stories throughout the night (I do that) and all he ever said was "oh. cool." He just gave me no conversation to go on. And then during the games, we were all having fun, but my date kept calling people out for not following the rules exactly. He was getting very upset. I felt very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to respond to such overly competitiveness. So yes, he was definitely good at scattergories. He wasn't the most awkward person I've ever conversed with, but my date definitely was not a comfortable experience.
What a ridiculous situation I was in, which leads me to Dating Rule #29: When being set up on a date, make sure that the responsible party knows you at least a little bit.

Peace n Blessings.
The Friendly Kisser.

Beef, Pork, Chicken... mmm?

Once upon a last month I tried to be a vegetarian. Don't worry, I didn't want to try it forever. Just one month. Unfortunately, around day 7 I couldn't wait until it was over. It was SO hard! I gave up some of my favorite foods for black bean burgers and vegetarian dishes, picked chicken from my salads, and cooked up omelets when everyone else was eating chicken alfredo. True dedication if you ask me! With 8 days left, I got asked out on a date. We'll call him Elmer Fudd. He was a good friend from freshman year and I was super excited.

The date started at 8, so I assumed we wouldn't have dinner. Wrongo! He picked me up and I soon discovered that DINNER was the exact plan.

Now, at this point in the story, I have a riddle for you. Lets see if you can figure it out.

What's expensive and fancy with meat all over?

Bingo! Tucanos. As in, the Brazillian steak house. And that is exactly where we pulled up.

Elmer: "So, I really hope you like meat. Cause.. if you were a vegetarian, this would be REALLY awkward."

......

I kid you not. These exact words came from his mouth.

Dating Rule #91: Sometimes you must make painful sacrifices in order to avoid an extremely awkward situation. 

And that, my friends, is exactly what I did. I ate meat. I only had 8 days left and I had to give in! So now, thanks to Elmer, I can say that I was a vegetarian for exactly 1 month - 1 day.

The One Timer: Over and Out.

Meet the Renaissance Man

Quick note: I saw Stonewall Jackson the other day. He walked right past me and didn't even say hello. So it's looking like we're not going to be friends. But I've accepted that and it's perfectly fine. Now to the real story.

Oh, The Renaissance Man.
Guys, I really don't know what to do about this boy. He is the most fascinating boy I've ever met. Upon first glance, he kind of seems like a tool. But then you get to know him and realize that he's hilarious and legitimately one of the nicest boys ever. And then he starts dancing and breaking it down and you realize that this boy is crazy and has no inhibitions. And THEN he will burst out in song, usually songs from musicals. The boy has all the words of every song from Les Mis memorized. But then he can be shallow and talks about how he only dates gorgeous girls. But then he's a super nerd and shares a lot of the same nerdy passions as me. He is an english major and I can have incredibly intelligent, philosophical conversations with him. And he speaks in abbreves. Always. I've known this boy for months now, and he STILL surprises me with his amazing array of interests, opinions, passions, and talents. He is fascinating and you can't help but absolutely adore him.

Oh yeah, and he's even more of a friendly kisser than I am. He will straight up just kiss any attractive female, and then just stop talking to them. That is the side of him that I am not okay with, and I tell him that often. But don't worry, I haven't kissed him, so it's fine.

So I've always had a very interesting, open relationship with The Renaissance Man. He is one of my really good friends. We talk to each other about our dating relationships and all other things important in life. Then one day last week, he was describing to me the girl that he wants to date, and let's get real, I fit everything in his description. And this got me thinking... I could like this boy. I really could.

But now what do I do? How do I go from very close confidant to potential dating material? Especially with this here Renaissance Man, because let's get real, I don't think he would even like me anyway. And there it is folks, this man has so many different sides and I still don't quite get him. But I am a big fan of him and our friendship... and apparently I'm a bigger fan than I had previously anticipated.

May the force be with you,
The Friendly Kisser.