I don't kiss just anyone. Usually.

My name is The Friendly Kisser. Yes, I do realize that the connotations of this name are not particularly positive, but let's get real here, most of our names on this blog do not have positive connotations.

Since my dating life is rather boring at the moment, I will inform the general populous of the basis of my name. Now keep in mind that there is a lot that goes along with most of these stories and I'm only telling the bare minimum. But these are some of my favorite stories because they are so entirely ridiculous. Also, no judgement... please and thank you.

The Hipster: I met the hipster the first week of last fall semester and I immediately adored him and found him fascinating. He was so unique and different from anyone I'd ever met and I was so attracted to that. Not physically attracted at first, just curiously attracted because I love watching interesting people. We spent lots of time together, not just the two of us, we were usually with our large group of friends. We shared our mutual love for reptiles and interest in discussing the basis of creativity and human thought. He is a very physical individual; I've never met a boy that just loves to be touched so much by everyone around him. Now I'm a very physical person as well (ever taken the 5 Love Language test? Physical Touch is one of my highest - this explains a lot, I know). Anyway, so from the very beginning we had a very physical friendship; I was always scratching his back or playing with his hair or we would even cuddle occasionally, though it meant nothing. Then one day we were watching a movie in his apartment and for some reason everyone else left halfway through. So then we ended up kissing. I was just like, "What in the world?! Where is this coming from? Do I even like him?" Then I just scratched those thoughts and kept kissing him. It was great. But then I got home and I was ashamed; I ended up not even telling my roommates about these happening for a couple months. I came to the conclusion that I did not in fact have feelings for The Hipster, and we continued to be very close friends. The fact that we had made-out through a solid portion of a movie never made things awkward and we never even discussed it.

The Gangster: I went to visit my best friend, who lives two hours a way, for a huge Mardi Gras party. She introduced me to one of her friends, The Gangster. He is Cambodian and had recently moved from just outside of Compton. Let's be serious now, he is the only boy I have ever kissed that had tattoos, and they were awesome. Yeah, he was pretty hardcore or something. He also turned out to be one of the sweetest, though not so bright, boys I've ever met. So we partied hard (nothing too crazy, just some excellent dance partying). I spent the whole night dancing with The Gangster and it was great. I had to leave to get on a plane by 6 the next morning, so I went running out to my car around 3. He came with me to the car and then just leaned in and laid one on me. I was completely surprised, but fine with it; he was not a bad kisser. Then I got in the car and watched him walk back inside And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the first and last time I spoke to or saw The Gangster.

Mr. Football: This man is a VERY large, black, college football player. He is from Gahna. He is outrageous. And he thinks he is so incredibly awesome. Ever since I first acquainted him, I have adored him. In my usual fashion, there is always a constant barrage of flirting going back and forth between the two of us. We attended a boating trip with a large group of friends and neighbors a few months ago, and one of the nights we were all standing around chatting. As a perfectly acceptable part of our conversation, Mr. Football kissed a friend of ours on the forehead and this friend exclaimed, "That's the first kiss I've ever had from a black man." Another friend then turned to me and stated: "I bet you want one." I just laughed and responded in my typical sarcastic way that of course I would. So Mr. Football promptly walked right up to me and kissed me full on the mouth right there in front everybody. I was entirely not expecting that, but went right along with it and it was spectacular. It was a great kiss. And everyone watched. And then everyone talked. I just laughed and we have continued our flirting friendship to this day, but when I'm around him, I always stay aware of the fact that he might kiss me again, which I would probably accept.

Now you have heard my three most ridiculous stories. Yes, I have a flirting problem. But I will have everyone know that I don't kiss just anyone. I have been quoted saying, "It's easy to kiss someone when you don't really like them." I stand by this statement. When I really like a boy, I am awkward and can not easily kiss them, or even talk to them like a normal person for that matter. It's a curse.

Now you understand me,
The Friendly Kisser