The man decided to wed

So I had something that I was going to write about today, but then this morning I was slapped in the face with a fact that I can't stop thinking about:

Stonewall Jackson is engaged.

Not that this is a super huge shock; I mean, he has been dating this girl since August (even before I poured out my heart to him. Supes awks, I know).  But still. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. It's not that I still have feelings for him; oh I am definitely over that. But Stonewall was the first boy that I ever seriously thought that there was any potential of us getting married. Granted it has been nearly a year since any such thought crossed my mind. 

"Weird" is the only word I can think to describe how I feel about his engagement.

I keep having the thought that it could have been me getting engaged to him. And that he is yet another amazing boy that I let slip away. 

Don't get me wrong, I am 100% positive that calling things off with him was the right choice and we would not have ended up together. I honestly haven't really thought about him since that night in September when I poured my heart out to him, except of course for the few awkward moments when I've run into him on campus. But there's still an annoying part in the back of my mind that can not get over how weird it is that he's engaged. I think it's just weird to know that he's moved on and found someone new to love and marry, while I'm still floundering here. I've moved on, but I have not found my someone. Yet. It's hard to accept that.

The Friendly Kisser

Welp, Here Goes Nothin'!

I’ve never been one to fall in love with love.

I know what you’re thinking. Then why the heck are you contributing to this blog? To be honest, I’m wondering the same thing. In a strange way I have always felt expressing my feelings made me weak, made me feel I wasn’t strong enough to hold it all together on my own. I attribute this to the many times I have witnessed girls crying for hours over relationships that didn’t bloom or work out, leaving them convinced they’d never find love. I perceived it as sad, pathetic even, and swore to myself I would never be one of them.

And then I failed at life. Turns out even I, Miss Inconsistent, am not immune. I inevitably fell in love with a boy (or two) and joined the ranks of lovestruck women for a season.

But I'll save those stories for later.

Despite what I've been through, my experiences in the realm of dating haven’t made me any more eager to express my feelings. So if I’m not willing to share my feelings to the few I trust around me, why would I ever put them on here for the whole world to see?

My best guess is that the other girls who contribute to this blog slipped something sketchy in my food this evening. Either way, I'm feeling great.

Stay tuned!

-Miss Inconsistent

Welcome, MISS INCONSISTENT.

Since the heartbreaker has been MIA the past few months and is now leaving on a mission, we are pleased to annouce the newest addition to our "Blog Family": Miss Inconsistent.

We found her on the brink of starvation near an old abandoned mine. Society and dating had been so cruel to her that she had sunk into a deep, dark, confused depression. Being the saints we are, we took her under our wing(s). Months of therapy and countless hours of psychological training later, we finally feel she is ready for society.


Without further ado, we bring you Miss Inconsistent. Another single woman in Provo with new insights and experiences to offer our readers, we hope you love her as much as we do.

Happy Dating!

Love,
The Girls

Is it FEAR or just NOT THERE?

Remember Mr. Valentine? Yeah, I know. It was a long time ago. Last summer, to be exact. 

Flash back: things sort of just fizzled out on my part and I started slightly avoiding him while still trying to be friends. 

Get this: He's back. Kinda. 

As far as Mr. Valentine goes, I spent all last semester trying to not lead him on. Over summer, I was willing to see if something could work out... but then we didn't see each other for a month and I lost interest. Instead of talking to him, I just kinda acted standoff-ish. I could tell he was super confused.. however, I did the cowardly thing and let it slowly fade away. 

Finally, at the end of last semester, I started being myself again. I let myself flirt a little and just have fun and be open with him. We talked about relationships in general and before long talked about our "summer relationship" and its problems. I thought I was home free! We could just be friends and I wouldn't lead him on!

Rule #7: Unless you give the boy closure, he can and will take any opportunity to invite himself back into your love life!

Last week, I learned this the hard way. Okay, not super hard. He didn't try to make-out with me or anything. But still. 

I went over to his house to say hello and ended up staying for a few hours. Over the course of the evening, Mr. Valentine proceeded to ask me increasingly awkward questions. 

"So.. would you have dated me last summer?"
"So... if you ever liked me again, would you tell me?"
"So... would you like to go on another date with me? I'd really like that."

By the end of the third question, I was squirming to get out of there. I DON'T KNOW!! was the honest answer to all his questions. Here's the thing: he's attractive, he's fun, he's adorably sweet, he thinks I'm the bomb.. Why am I not all over this!?! I DON'T KNOW! Hence my completely vague responses to his questions. 

My point is: do I like him and I'm just afraid of his forwardness? Or is it just "not there" for me? 

I need answers quick cause Sigmond is making his way back into my mind. (We have a lunch date tomorrow. No worries, there will be another post soon to explain THAT craziness.)

Until then.  

The One Timer: Over and Out. 

But how do you just look past the awkward?

I feel like whenever there is a nice boy, who is hilarious and smart and just overall exactly what I want in a boy... Yes, whenever I meet a boy like that, I create some sort of problem with him in my mind. Some problem that prohibits me from liking him. Whether or not the problem is actually there or just a creation of my imagination, I do not know. But it is always real to me and it keeps me from liking him. This has happened over and over, and I don't know how to get over it.
I'm in this sort of situation right now with a boy named Rand al'Thor. My roommates want me to love him. They say so every time we see him. And I really do want to like him, but I just don't and I don't know why not. He is such a quirky boy, and I LOVE quirky. I love nerdy passions and he is full of them. He loves sports, he is hilarious, he is a brilliant boy, and he is obsessed with fantasy. Yeah, he's just awesome.
And what is the problem I've found with this one? He can be really quite awkward. Sometimes he just sits there and doesn't say anything  while he awkwardly smiles, and I feel kind of uncomfortable. He has this hesitant awkward laugh that he does after he says anything and it's super endearing at first, but after a while it puts me on edge.
I've been spending a lot of time with Rand over the last week or so and I just don't know what to think. He's perfectly adorable and I really do think he is SO funny. But I don't know if I can get over his awkward ways.  I love spending time with him and I get excited whenever I get a text from him or just thinking about hanging out with him. But when I'm actually there with him, I don't feel it and I fear it's just because I can't look past his awkwardness. What's a girl to do?!
Ok, this post has kind of been all over the place... but welcome to my brain whenever I think about Rand! I just don't know about this one. But I asked him on a date for Saturday, so I suppose we'll just see how that goes.

Friendly Kisser, peacing out.

I have a legitimate fear.

I have recently developed a legitimate fear of getting married and by so doing, becoming boring. Now, I know you may think this irrational, however the married couple sitting across the table from me right now has me convinced.
Allow me to paint a little picture for you. They are just an average looking couple eating lunch together. It doesn't seem like they are mad or frustrated with each other, but they also haven't smiled once. The girl is staring off into space and the guy is glued to his computer screen. Occasionally, they'll mention something to each other in monotone sentences as they eat their matching lunches of leftover soup from tupperware containers. The most exciting topic I've heard them discuss is the date which will be most convenient for the hubby to shave his head. Now, I know I shouldn't judge or anything, but they just seem soooo bored with each other. Maybe I'm completely wrong, maybe this little lunch break has been the best part of their day, but it sure doesn't seem like it!
Now it's not just this couple that has made this fear become completely real to me. I think we've all had those married friends/relatives who simply fall off the face of the planet, only to be seen every 6 months or so. Some of them, it seems, are under the impression that since they are married, they are now 97 years old and therefore must go to bed promptly at 9:00 pm and only eat things like All Bran and Grape Nuts for breakfast. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating. Most couples really aren't like this at all, but what if I'm the outlier who becomes one of these super structured, boring human beings???

These recent fears have led me to wonder why it is that some married couples are so boring. I can see two options here.

A) Marriage makes you boring.
B) Boring married couples were already boring before they got married.

I'd like to believe that the latter is true, because that means that maybe this can all be avoided by following one simple dating rule. #77) Make sure to date someone who makes you passionate, rather than passive, about life. Hopefully, this will help us all avoid becoming thoroughly boring and uninteresting people.

Well, that's all of my ramblings for now.

Until next time,
The Cautious Charmer

You're killing me, Smalls!

Once upon a time, I lived up to my name....
Ok, so maybe I've done that a lot, but this story might beat them all.

A month or so ago I went to a rocking dance party with two of my best friends. We love dancing and going crazy and tearing up the dance floor. We had been dancing for quite a while and it was getting crowded, so we went outside to cool down for a minute.
We were just laughing and enjoying the night sky when these three very tall, relatively attractive guys approached us. They immediately started talking to one of my friends and the conversation quickly escalated to them asking her if she would kiss one of them, let's call him Squints. Now let me preface my friend: she is a complete babe. Tall, blonde, model (literally), super funny... you know, practically perfect. So I don't blame him for wanting to kiss her. She just casually laughed it off, but they were persistent and kept asking, "Well, would you? Would you kiss him?" She finally broke down and said, pointing to me and my other friend, "I'll kiss him if they do!" She was certainly not expecting us to say yes, but she did not want to be the one to say no to them. So the boys turned to us and asked us the same question.
"Would you kiss him? Oh come on. He's on the volleyball team!"
Little did they know that there is a great weakness in my heart for the volleyball team, and though I had never seen him on the volleyball team and didn't entirely believe them, I was sold by the fact that they mentioned volleyball. And so it was agreed and his friends cheered.
So after some coaxing, he kissed the girl he originally wanted to kiss and I think he enjoyed it far too much. And then it was my turn. I walked right on up to him, but then paused...
"Hold on... what's your name?"
"Uh.... Squints."
" Hi! I'm The Friendly Kisser!"
And then I laid one on him! Yeah, it was super awkward but awesome. And then a similarly awkward kiss occurred between he and our other friend. And then before I could even process what had just happened, all three of the boys ran away, never to be seen again.
We all just died laughing and couldn't believe how ridiculous that whole situation was and that we had actually kissed him.
After the initial hilarity, there was much debate over whether or not Squints was actually on the much-coveted Men's Volleyball Team. After some very impressive facebook stalking on all sides, we made many discoveries. Squints was in fact NOT on the volleyball team.
But a few weeks later he announced that he would be joining the volleyball team next year.

And then we discovered, to our absolutely horror, that he is a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL... Yeah, you heard me. Speechless. And hilarious.

So... moral of the story. I am ridiculous. So are my friends. And we kiss teenagers. Not the smartest moment in my life. But definitely one of the best stories.

The Friendly Kisser strikes again.

New year, new love?

Oh it's been a while folks! Sorry about that, life can be crazy sometimes.
So we're back in a new semester and trying to get used to new classes and seeing new faces everyday. You know what I love about the beginning of the semester?
The incredibly positive potential for new love.
Old people that you had spent months with and clearly had no interest in have moved out (unless you were creepin and showed too much interest and scared them out), and new people have moved in. You don't know who they're going to be or if one if them is possibly the one for you. The potential is enormous. And then there is the possibilities in all of the new classes. Sadly for me, my major is so small that I have had classes with pretty much the same people for the last year and a half. But you never know! And that is what I love about the beginning if the semester; the uncertainty, the potential, the excitement. Sadly, we're a couple days in and I have nothing of any excitement to report regarding my dating life, but alas, all hope is not lost! Lets see what kind of love this semester holds!

With an air of extra positivity,
The Friendly Kisser

Sigmund FRAUD.

Warning: I am writing this in the heat of the moment. In other words, my emotions are still irrational and dramatic.

Mr. Sigmund has been showing what I thought was a decent amount of interest since break. At least I was happy with things. We talked enough the first week of school... enough that I was further convinced he still had interest and I had a chance. 

Wrongo!

Tonight he was driving home from Salt Lake and I texted him a "drive safe please don't slide and die in the snow" text due to the horrid weather. What did he do? He called me. We chatted for 45 minutes. Great news? No. In the conversation he asked me a question.. about another girl. That he was taking out on Saturday. Isn't that like Dating 101? If you are interested in someone, you don't ask them dating advice about other people! My conclusion = I have been completely mistaken about Sigmund. 

I'm thoroughly confused, enraged, depressed and shattered. Why would he ask that if he really was interested? Am I wrong to assume that his calls and texts and attention meant something?

I need to go buy a tub of ice cream. I didn't realize how much I liked him until my heart dropped when I realized what he was asking. 

Help. 

The One Timer: Over and Out

200% Chance of Failure.

Last semester I had what I guess you could call a substantial crush. At least, I liked him enough to legitimately want to date him. Now this is actually saying a lot. As every girl knows, a fleeting crush is a common occurrence. But when, after careful observation, we are still interested in dating "said crush," *life/love/dreams take on meaning again. 

Which is exactly why I was worried about Christmas break.

Dating Rule #67: If a pre-relationship is faced with an extended period of absence (aka Christmas Break), danger of it "fizzling out" increases by 200%. 

In other words, absence rarely makes the heart grow fonder where pre-relationships are concerned. 

So, although Sigmund and I went out a few times and were showing mutual interest in eachother previous to break, I feared the fizzle. Would we even talk over break? Would I even like him when I came back? 

Yes and Yes. 

Sigmund and I were able to keep up quite a perfect amount of conversation over our 3 weeks apart. We did not obsessively text, thus causing one of us to lose interest. Nor did we refrain from any conversation whatsoever. Instead, there was a small amount of texting combined with a few random calls here and there. By the time I got back to Provo, I had talked with him enough that we didn't feel awkward contacting each other and I was stoked to see him again! 

Of course, I only say this in hindsight, as I have now been back 4 days and he has contacted me everyday. 

So, although I didn't think it possible, I beat the odds. Despite my 200% increased chance of failure, my crush survived. Now we just have to wait and see if Sigmund and I will survive the next test: semester overload. Here's to hoping for a crush that actually goes relationship. 

The One Timer: Over and Out.

*this is slightly dramatized to add appeal.