GUYS. I just got the best advice ever from the Legend of Korra (yes, nerdy cartoons are my thing): "Ending a relationship is kind of like pulling off a blood sucking leech. You've just got to rip it off and get it over with. You'll feel a lot better afterwards, trust me."
Truth. Amen. Hallelujah.
So I came to the dramatic and horrible realization that I am terrible at relationship communication, right? Well, it's still going down. Everyday I am haunted by the knowledge that I desperately need to talk to The Youngin' and maybe even Samwise. For my own sanity as much as for theirs. But I still haven't done so and I'm so sad about it.
My conversation with The Youngin' is not going to be enjoyable, but its going to make me feel a ton better. It will hopefully give him the closure he needs as well.
Just rip that dang leech off.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Lack of communication. My bad.
I am the worst.
My eyes have been opened to how entirely terrible I am at handling dating situations and relationships. I am incapable of discussing my feelings and my intentions with a gentleman of interest. When in the company of my roommates or my mother, I can rant all day about how frustrated I am or about how I feel about someone, but the second the gentleman in question is present, I can not speak of such things. At all. It really is ridiculous.
I'm sure you can deduce that I have yet to speak to The Youngin'. I am unintentionally letting it just fizzle away, which is completely unacceptable. I know I need to speak with him, but I have yet to find the words or the courage or the desire.
And now I have some words that I need to speak to Samwise, but I can not for the life of me say them to his face. I have not mentioned Samwise to you, my dear readers, which is rather unfortunate because he is the dearest, most loyal, surprisingly spontaneous boy that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I met him back in May, and we have been incredible friends ever since. I've had a crush on him on and off for the last 4 months. Here's the catch: he has a missionary. A girl who still has nearly a year before she gets home, but he is still in love with her and absolutely wants to marry her when she returns... Yeah, again with the whole, "Friendly Kisser can't ever have a normal dating situation" thing.
Long story short: Samwise and I kissed in July and then NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT (yes,I have a problem), and then everything went back to normal and we were still just friends. It has been as such for months now, but then last week he called me just to talk and invited me to hang out every single day. What?!
Don't call me and be an absolute sweetheart when I already like you but we both know that nothing is ever going to happen between us.
Annoyed.
And this, my friends, is where communication comes into play. It would be so much clearer if I could just ask him what was going on in his mind and if I could verbalize what is going on in mine. And this is where I struggle and things fall apart. How have I never realized how miserable I am at this?! I need some communication skills.
My eyes have been opened to how entirely terrible I am at handling dating situations and relationships. I am incapable of discussing my feelings and my intentions with a gentleman of interest. When in the company of my roommates or my mother, I can rant all day about how frustrated I am or about how I feel about someone, but the second the gentleman in question is present, I can not speak of such things. At all. It really is ridiculous.
I'm sure you can deduce that I have yet to speak to The Youngin'. I am unintentionally letting it just fizzle away, which is completely unacceptable. I know I need to speak with him, but I have yet to find the words or the courage or the desire.
And now I have some words that I need to speak to Samwise, but I can not for the life of me say them to his face. I have not mentioned Samwise to you, my dear readers, which is rather unfortunate because he is the dearest, most loyal, surprisingly spontaneous boy that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I met him back in May, and we have been incredible friends ever since. I've had a crush on him on and off for the last 4 months. Here's the catch: he has a missionary. A girl who still has nearly a year before she gets home, but he is still in love with her and absolutely wants to marry her when she returns... Yeah, again with the whole, "Friendly Kisser can't ever have a normal dating situation" thing.
Long story short: Samwise and I kissed in July and then NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT (yes,I have a problem), and then everything went back to normal and we were still just friends. It has been as such for months now, but then last week he called me just to talk and invited me to hang out every single day. What?!
Don't call me and be an absolute sweetheart when I already like you but we both know that nothing is ever going to happen between us.
Annoyed.
And this, my friends, is where communication comes into play. It would be so much clearer if I could just ask him what was going on in his mind and if I could verbalize what is going on in mine. And this is where I struggle and things fall apart. How have I never realized how miserable I am at this?! I need some communication skills.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Not Funny.
Aaaaaand we're back... or at least I am.
It's been a long, arduous break from love-blogging, but the time has come where I feel the need to begin again. I can not say the same for my fellow writers, but maybe someday they will come back and tell you there stories. Or maybe not, who knows.
So it's been a solid 5 to 6 months since I last updated on my love life. But don't worry, I haven't fallen madly in love, so you haven't missed too much. I did have a summer full of boy situations and kissing - I try to keep things as exciting as possible. Someday I may share some of the stories from this summer, as they are pretty entertaining, but for now I must tell you about The Youngin'.
Okay, so this boy is not THAT much younger than me, only a year and some change. I mean, it's nothing like when I kissed Squints and then found out he was only 17. There are many guys I know that are a year younger than me and it wouldn't bother me one bit, but for some reason The Youngin' just seems SO YOUNG.
I've been (kind of?) dating him for the last 3 weeks. "Kind of" meaning that we've spent loads of time together and kissed and all that jazz, but haven't really ever talked about it.
How typical of me.
This time we've spent together has been enjoyable. We are very similar in our interests and our opinions. We both look at the world in a very similar manner, which is refreshing and has lead to some very deep, philosophical discussions. But I've been very hesitant about the whole thing because of his age and because sometimes when we're talking, he just seems so young and immature. And then about 4 days ago I came to the most game changing realization:
HE IS BORING!
No really, he is. How I went for 3 weeks without realizing this, I still am not positive. It is potentially because I have so much hilarity and personality, that I can pretty much make up for any lack that a person has. But you know what I finally realized? He has never made me really laugh. Maybe calling The Youngin' boring is drastic, but I honestly can't recall a time when I've really been excited or thrilled to be around him. The real problem that I have with him is that he doesn't laugh at my jokes! The other day, I was just talking like normal with my roommate and we were dying of laughter, and The Youngin' was just sitting there, not laughing, and making me feel dumb. Multiple times he commented on how crazy we were being and how we were "odd." Not a fan.
To me, sense of humor is the biggest selling point in a guy. It's so important for me because I laugh more than most anyone I know, so when he doesn't make me laugh and doesn't laugh with me, then I have a serious problem. And such is the case with this boy.
So what do I do now? How do I just tell a boy that I don't want to date him because I find him dull? I obviously can't tell him that, but I don't know how to speak my mind otherwise. Oh, and did I mention that I was the first girl he ever kissed, which makes me even more hesitant to break things off and break his tender little heart? Bah!
It's been a long, arduous break from love-blogging, but the time has come where I feel the need to begin again. I can not say the same for my fellow writers, but maybe someday they will come back and tell you there stories. Or maybe not, who knows.
So it's been a solid 5 to 6 months since I last updated on my love life. But don't worry, I haven't fallen madly in love, so you haven't missed too much. I did have a summer full of boy situations and kissing - I try to keep things as exciting as possible. Someday I may share some of the stories from this summer, as they are pretty entertaining, but for now I must tell you about The Youngin'.
Okay, so this boy is not THAT much younger than me, only a year and some change. I mean, it's nothing like when I kissed Squints and then found out he was only 17. There are many guys I know that are a year younger than me and it wouldn't bother me one bit, but for some reason The Youngin' just seems SO YOUNG.
I've been (kind of?) dating him for the last 3 weeks. "Kind of" meaning that we've spent loads of time together and kissed and all that jazz, but haven't really ever talked about it.
How typical of me.
This time we've spent together has been enjoyable. We are very similar in our interests and our opinions. We both look at the world in a very similar manner, which is refreshing and has lead to some very deep, philosophical discussions. But I've been very hesitant about the whole thing because of his age and because sometimes when we're talking, he just seems so young and immature. And then about 4 days ago I came to the most game changing realization:
HE IS BORING!
No really, he is. How I went for 3 weeks without realizing this, I still am not positive. It is potentially because I have so much hilarity and personality, that I can pretty much make up for any lack that a person has. But you know what I finally realized? He has never made me really laugh. Maybe calling The Youngin' boring is drastic, but I honestly can't recall a time when I've really been excited or thrilled to be around him. The real problem that I have with him is that he doesn't laugh at my jokes! The other day, I was just talking like normal with my roommate and we were dying of laughter, and The Youngin' was just sitting there, not laughing, and making me feel dumb. Multiple times he commented on how crazy we were being and how we were "odd." Not a fan.
To me, sense of humor is the biggest selling point in a guy. It's so important for me because I laugh more than most anyone I know, so when he doesn't make me laugh and doesn't laugh with me, then I have a serious problem. And such is the case with this boy.
So what do I do now? How do I just tell a boy that I don't want to date him because I find him dull? I obviously can't tell him that, but I don't know how to speak my mind otherwise. Oh, and did I mention that I was the first girl he ever kissed, which makes me even more hesitant to break things off and break his tender little heart? Bah!
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