You're killing me, Smalls!

Once upon a time, I lived up to my name....
Ok, so maybe I've done that a lot, but this story might beat them all.

A month or so ago I went to a rocking dance party with two of my best friends. We love dancing and going crazy and tearing up the dance floor. We had been dancing for quite a while and it was getting crowded, so we went outside to cool down for a minute.
We were just laughing and enjoying the night sky when these three very tall, relatively attractive guys approached us. They immediately started talking to one of my friends and the conversation quickly escalated to them asking her if she would kiss one of them, let's call him Squints. Now let me preface my friend: she is a complete babe. Tall, blonde, model (literally), super funny... you know, practically perfect. So I don't blame him for wanting to kiss her. She just casually laughed it off, but they were persistent and kept asking, "Well, would you? Would you kiss him?" She finally broke down and said, pointing to me and my other friend, "I'll kiss him if they do!" She was certainly not expecting us to say yes, but she did not want to be the one to say no to them. So the boys turned to us and asked us the same question.
"Would you kiss him? Oh come on. He's on the volleyball team!"
Little did they know that there is a great weakness in my heart for the volleyball team, and though I had never seen him on the volleyball team and didn't entirely believe them, I was sold by the fact that they mentioned volleyball. And so it was agreed and his friends cheered.
So after some coaxing, he kissed the girl he originally wanted to kiss and I think he enjoyed it far too much. And then it was my turn. I walked right on up to him, but then paused...
"Hold on... what's your name?"
"Uh.... Squints."
" Hi! I'm The Friendly Kisser!"
And then I laid one on him! Yeah, it was super awkward but awesome. And then a similarly awkward kiss occurred between he and our other friend. And then before I could even process what had just happened, all three of the boys ran away, never to be seen again.
We all just died laughing and couldn't believe how ridiculous that whole situation was and that we had actually kissed him.
After the initial hilarity, there was much debate over whether or not Squints was actually on the much-coveted Men's Volleyball Team. After some very impressive facebook stalking on all sides, we made many discoveries. Squints was in fact NOT on the volleyball team.
But a few weeks later he announced that he would be joining the volleyball team next year.

And then we discovered, to our absolutely horror, that he is a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL... Yeah, you heard me. Speechless. And hilarious.

So... moral of the story. I am ridiculous. So are my friends. And we kiss teenagers. Not the smartest moment in my life. But definitely one of the best stories.

The Friendly Kisser strikes again.