So I had something that I was going to write about today, but then this morning I was slapped in the face with a fact that I can't stop thinking about:
Stonewall Jackson is engaged.
Not that this is a super huge shock; I mean, he has been dating this girl since August (even before I poured out my heart to him. Supes awks, I know). But still. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. It's not that I still have feelings for him; oh I am definitely over that. But Stonewall was the first boy that I ever seriously thought that there was any potential of us getting married. Granted it has been nearly a year since any such thought crossed my mind.
"Weird" is the only word I can think to describe how I feel about his engagement.
I keep having the thought that it could have been me getting engaged to him. And that he is yet another amazing boy that I let slip away.
Don't get me wrong, I am 100% positive that calling things off with him was the right choice and we would not have ended up together. I honestly haven't really thought about him since that night in September when I poured my heart out to him, except of course for the few awkward moments when I've run into him on campus. But there's still an annoying part in the back of my mind that can not get over how weird it is that he's engaged. I think it's just weird to know that he's moved on and found someone new to love and marry, while I'm still floundering here. I've moved on, but I have not found my someone. Yet. It's hard to accept that.
The Friendly Kisser
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