My Prince Charming, and my Not-So-Prince Charming

So, I'm in love.

We're not talking about a high school sweetheart or a college crush. We're talking about I want to grow old with you, forehead kisses, I simply cannot stop looking at you, flowers everyday, best, best friends in love. Maybe this is why I'm The Heartbreaker. I have my perfect boy, my Prince Charming, and I can't settle for less. He's on a mission for two years, and I decided to go my own way and let him go his, because I want to be the best person I possibly can and I love him so much that I want him to do the same.

When he left, I (naturally) was a little sad for a while. Not because I was waiting for him; just because I was missing my best friend.

Here is the tale of the first stab at dating I attempted after he went away.

I was depressed, and my parents were getting desperate to get me out of the house. To please them and to get my friends to stop pestering me every way I turned, I decided to go to an activity with a bunch of kids my age. No sooner did I walk in than a boy, about ten years older than me, heavyset, a sweet smile and an over-sized shirt made his way to where I stood.

I was in running shorts, my hair wet, no make-up, a "large" t-shirt. What I'm trying to say is that you'd better believe I was trying to impress every boy in that room. Apparently it was working, as 

this Not-So-Prince-Charming tried to turn his charm on. He was the epitome of AWKWARD, and I'd take that over a cocky tool any day of the week. My heart went out to him and I tried to be interested in him. Our conversation went a little like this:

"So, Not-So-Prince-Charming, what would be your dream job? Tell me about yourself! If you could do anything with your life, what would you be and what would you do?"

I saw the lightbulb come on as he thought of the perfect pick-up line. I flinched. I knew what was coming. No. Why did I ask?

"Marrrryingggg youuuuuu..............................But that would be more than a dream job, wouldn't it?????????????"

He sat there with a smug little smile. Yes. Score. I said it, I did it, she is charmed.

My friends were dying laughing and I changed the subject without taking a breath.  

Never again, mom.  Never again.

-The Heartbreaker.  

Texting: The Dating Cop-out

So The Roommate strikes again. 

Since last weeks' excitement, things have been pretty normal between The Roommate and myself. He still comes over every day and we still have an absolute blast together. True, sometimes I must be on my toes about not being overly friendly (aka obviously flirty), but that was it. I even let myself believe that everything would die down and come to naught. 

Well, today I received an interesting ending (temporary?) to The Roommate and his interest in me. How did this happen? TEXT. 

Dating Rule #39: Never text a conversation that needs to be in person. 

Dating Rule #40: If you don't know whether a conversation needs to be in person, it needs to be in person.

This specific texting conversation was the classic "I'm trying to tell you how I feel without actually saying it so as to not make myself vulnerable" one.  He cryptically apologized for his "post-relationship-weirdness" and hoped he hadn't made me feel uncomfortable.

Interpretation#1: The Roommate has decided that he was rebounding and that he, in fact, was not interested in me. This was his way of telling me so. 

Interpretation #2: The Roommate was still very interested in me and hoped to discover my feelings by observing how I would respond to said apology. 

After texting for awhile and trying to decide WHICH interpretation was correct, I'd had enough. A direct approach was the only way.

My response: "Are you trying to tell me in a round about way that you were rebounding and aren't interested anymore?"

His answer flowered around the idea that he was, in fact, still interested. However, he wants to be in the friend-zone right now as he still doesn't know if he's rebounding. (Yes, he ASKED to be in the friend-zone after telling me he was interested. There's a first for everything.)

So, today I tucked The Roommate safely into the friend zone.

There are many morals of this story and I invite you to learn from them. As for me, I'm just relieved that I can stop worrying about whether The Roommate is going to make a move or not.

For now.

The One Timer: Over and Out.

"Call Me Maybe"-The Verb.

Once upon a time, Carly Rae Jepsen wrote a catchy song that got stuck in everyone's head. That song was called, "Call Me Maybe." Originally, she figured it might be played on the radio and that maybe she'd make some money off of it. However, what she didn't know was that this song would start a revolution in the dating world. This is the story of when "Call Me Maybe" became not only a song title, but also a verb.

Call Me Maybe- (verb) def: a dating technique in which a person (usually a girl) gives a stranger or acquaintance a secret note that says, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number. -insert phone number here- So call me, maybe?"

So what happened when my roommates and I heard about this new fad? Well, we jumped on the bandwagon of course! An opportunity as great as this simply can't be passed up. The Onetimer Call Me Maybed someone first, (maybe if you're lucky she'll tell you the story sometime) and her date went great! A few days later she somehow convinced me to do it too. I decided to Call Me Maybe a guy I met in class last semester who I thought was really cute. We were friends on Facebook so I sent him an email that went something like this, "Hey, I know I just met you a couple times in Living Prophets, so this is crazy. But if you want to go out sometime, here's my number (#) So call me! Maybe?" After about a week or so, he finally called and asked me out! The Onetimer, The Friendly Kisser, and The Heartbreaker just happened to be in the car with me when this happened, so obviously we blasted Call Me Maybe, danced, and sang as loud as humanly possible after I got off the phone. A few days later, Call Me Maybe Boy took me to dinner and an outdoor play. He was cute and fun, we laughed a lot. It was never awkward. Overall, a great first date! I don't know if we'd ever date each other, but he's someone I could easily be friends with. Honestly, the best part about this whole thing was that I did something I normally wouldn't do (after all, I am the Cautious Charmer, and this was anything but cautious) and it turned out to be a lot of fun! Maybe I should be a little less cautious more often. :)

-The Cautious Charmer

Forced Feelings?

Once Upon a Time I went on a blind date with Mr. Valentine. The date went unusually well (probably because the girls planned it, lets be honest) and he fell madly in love with me.

Okay, not really. But close.

This date happened 2.5 years ago and was quickly followed by a mission farewell/departure. While he was gone, I wrote him a few letters and even met up with him when I found myself in the same area via study abroad. (This happened on Valentines Day.. another great stand alone story.) Since then, his mission has ended and he's come back to the land of Utah. That is where I will begin this story.

Mr. Valentine seems to think I'm awesome. I'm not complaining, but it does throw me off sometimes. Men don't usually catch on to my awesomeness so quickly. Upon returning from his mission, he immediately began texting/calling me. When he came into town, he took me on a date. Then he came into town specifically to take me on a date! Since then, texting has continued and his interest level seems to be moderately high. I've gone up to his house a few times to hang out with his buddies and everything goes smashingly. 

However, just this week I made a small mistake. Before I had complete knowledge that The Roommate was interested in me, I brought him with me to visit Mr. Valentine. I am quite accustomed to The Roommate always tagging along and thought nothing of it. 

Dating Rule #63: Don't ever bring another boy along when you're going to visit a "potential".  

Thanks to an under cover spy, I know the turbulence that was cause in Mr. Valentine's head due to my actions. He was confused, hurt, and decided to not ask me out again. GREAT. Now I had to take matters into my own hands.
Dating Rule #16: When dealing with slightly clueless men, an undercover spy is always helpful. 

On the very day of confusion with The Roommate, I had to contact and apologize to Mr. Valentine and assure him my actions of bringing another man were not meant to be offensive. At this point, Mr. Valentine pulled out his true fresh-return-missionary colors and asked a billion questions to assure he was not "friend zoned" like The Roommate had been. In a charming and slightly annoying way, he made sure that it was okay to ask me out again.

Now you may be wondering how I am feeling about Mr. Valentine. Here's the thing: I don't know. I have problems being interested in guys unless I really know them, and I STILL feel like I don't know Mr. Valentine that well. I'm trying to give him a chance, but I can't go much longer forcing feelings. Cause, honestly, while I love hanging out with him, I don't get the butterflies when I see him. If he's expecting anything substantial to happen soon.. we may have another dating casualty. Story of my life.

The One Timer: Over and Out

The library is the place for love

At the beginning of this summer, we met a fantastic group of gentlemen and started hanging out with them everyday. Library Boy was one of these boys and he was fabulous. So naturally, all of my roommates developed crushes on him, some crushes bigger than others. Library Boy is the type of boy that just reeks of goodness and he is always so genuine and thoughtful. He just makes everyone fall in love with him without meaning to. So all of our roommates had fake crushes on this boy, that were actually real crushes though we wouldn't admit it. Then I realized that my crush was just getting all sorts of out of control.

Being the foolish souls that we are, we both are taking summer classes, so we started going to the library to study nearly every night. It started out that I would just text to see if he was there whenever I was there, but slowly it turned into planning to go together. Honestly, being able to spend time with Library Boy and distract each other from our studying made homework much more bearable. In fact, I rather enjoyed a lot of those moments. So this was the regular occurrence over weeks and weeks: the daily texting while at work, going to the library every night, lot's of flirting, walking home together. It was good. The attachment and adoration grew whilst in the library - so poetic, if I do say so myself. Obviously we did fun things outside of the library too, but it was always with other people, so the library was where we got to know each other individually. And then it became obvious about a month ago ("obvious" meaning his roommate told my roommate) that he liked me back. This was a good day.

Throughout the last month, both of us have gone on a number of trips and have been out of town more than our fair share of days, which was rather inconvenient. We were at that point in the potential relationship where you NEED to spend time together, or it will die. I've experienced the dying of almost-relationships more often than I would like to count, so I would know. However, as luck (or fate or whatever you want to call it) would have it, whenever we would return, the interest was still alive and it was glorious.

Then finally last week we went on a date! It's not that he exactly asked me, it's more that I told him to take me, but it was a date nonetheless. We went to the movies and just talked. It was so fun.

So you would think considering we both obviously like each other and that the date was a success that we would continue to go on dates and something would come of it. However, it has not been so. There's been a significant lack of texting and seeing this past week and a half. I've only seen him a couple of times and for just a few minutes each encounter; there has been no effort on his part to spend time together anymore. Clearly this has caused quite a bit of confusion. What am I supposed to do? Is he still interested, or did it just randomly die like it so often does? Library Boy is a sweet heart and I desperately want this situation to play out well, so I'm currently of the opinion that he's just a slow mover. But at this point, who knows what is actually happening in that boys head.

Peace and Blessings. 
The Friendly Kisser

Summer Lovin? Not so much...

I'm pretty sure every girl out there has once hoped to have a summer fling. Each year, June rolls around and we are bound and determined that this year we are going to fall in love. There's no question about it. Summer and love just go together. It only makes sense. Full of confidence, we say- Look out boys, you're about to fall head over heels for me whether you like it or not. 
Unfortunately, by August, most of us are still sitting around waiting for our Danny Zukos to show up. We find ourselves looking back on the last two months wondering, "What happened?" Summer love was supposed to be easy to find!
I personally would like to blame Noah Calhoun from "The Notebook" for getting this romantic idea into our heads. And I quote, "When all is said and done, {summer romances} have one thing in common: They are shooting stars- a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity."
Okay seriously, who wouldn't want to have a summer fling after that statement? 
So my question is...where the heck are my shooting stars, lights in the heavens, and glimpses of eternity? 
This summer hasn't exactly been the most romantic for me. I've gone on a couple dates here and there, but overall, it's been pretty boring. I'm fine with that I guess. However, the result is that I don't have many exciting posts to share. Hopefully this will change sometime in the near future, but for the time being, I will tell you about my recent adventures of being hit on as a secretary. 

I don't know what it is, but I've recently discovered that guys are particularly interested in secretaries. Don't get me wrong, I would not object to this situation if these were normal, cute guys. But let me tell you, these guys are wierd. Some are just awkward, others think they are hot stuff, and occasionally they are straight up crazy. 

Most recently, it's been the crazy type.

A few weeks ago, this crazy Indian guy (we'll call him Sunny D) who thinks he's black started coming into work to talk to me. Picture a short Indian guy wearing baggy jeans, a tall T, and gold chain necklace. He comes in walking like he thinks he's got swagger, with his ipod turned up so loud that he's literally shouting at everyone because he can't hear. He has a giant empty can of Sunny D hooked onto his necklace. I don't know what was in that Sunny D, but I seriously think he was on something. 
The first thing he said to me was, "YO! Where your restrooms at? I gotta change, but you'll see I clean up real gooood." He then goes and changes into something a little more normal and comes back. "See I was dirty, but now I hot huh? I bet you think I look reaalll nice now." 
He's now come in like 5 or 6 times and he says the most ridiculous and awkward things. I'll just give you a few of my favorite Sunny D quotes.

When I asked him his name he replied, "Oh what's my name? What's MY name? Girl, you wanna know my name? I'm Sunny D. Awww ya." (I really wish I could tell you what he actually calls himself. So much funnier haha)

"So what is it that you do here? Girl, you have got to have THE most boring job in the world. Do you even do anything?" -Insulting my job is one of his favorite things to do.

"So girl, uh what is your major? Ya know, like what is it that you study? Do you like to study? I like to study A LOT."

"Have you seen all those EFY kids runnin round? I feel like I'm in a toy store but I can't play with any of the toys." -Umm, does he realize how inappropriate that just sounded? DatingRule #57: Don't suggest to the girl you are trying to flirt with that you areactually a pedophile.

"Ta-day I didn't know it was a holiday. I went to class and there wasn't nobody anywhere. I swear I saw Brigham Young's ghost! Freaked me out yo."

"I didn't know how to celebrate the 24th. I didn't know if I was s'posed to go ta the temple or go out partyin with ma friends. But don't worry, I don't drink or nothin, see I got on my CTR ring."

So there you go. Not exactly a summer romance or even a dating story, but still entertaining at least!

-The Cautious Charmer

The South Rises Again

There are very few things that truly knock me off my feet and leave me on the ground wondering what the heck to do with myself. This Southern gentlemen, The Fireman, was one of those few things. It isn't everyday that someone flies across the country to woo you with his maturity and fancy hair. (He put the "Big Sexy Hair," brand gel in his hair. This was the first thing that put me on guard. How can someone who puts "Big Sexy Hair" gel in HIS hair work with a girl who can't get a comb through HERS?)

Anyways, The Fireman did indeed fly across the country. I was assured that his intentions were completely pure, although his move-making throughout the week hinted to some interest.

He tried to cuddle with me, although I was curled up in a little ball on the opposite side of the couch with a sign that said "TOUCH AND DIE," over my forehead. When in life I'm knocked off my feet and wondering what to do, what do I do? Well, I assume the fetal position pose, play dead, and soon enough climb over him to go to bed. Everything about this situation screamed "ULTIMATE SHUT-DOWN," but The Fireman is bold, and he kept on trying.

He even tried running with me, the move every boy makes when he's interested. It's like an "I care about what you care about, and I want to impress you with the athletic skills I have" gesture. Dating rule #33: Don't forget to go to the bathroom before running. On the first run we went on, The Fireman had to poop so bad he couldn't even talk to me. On the second, I left him in the dust.

Here's the thing. I like The Fireman; I truly do. He's taken the time to get to know me, he's smart and attractive, he's older, (which appeals to the small portion of me which is mature,) and he's genuine and kind. He's actually the second best guy friend I've ever had. But, there was no spark. It may have been the run, it may have been the cuddling pose he attempted, our eyes three-inches away from each other, or it may have just been that I love someone else.

Whatever the reason, I'm still on the ground, utterly lost.

-The Heartbreaker

The Good-for-Nothing Friend Zone

The friend zone is a wonderful place. I honestly love it. Not when I myself am "friend-zoned", but when I have guy friends I can feel comfortable enough with to look at them as just friends and nothing more. Don't get me wrong, I would not wish this zone upon every guy in my life. A select few will suffice. Then I can have guy friends who I don't have to worry about, I can be my uninhibited crazy self around, and I can remember what life was like before the "RM/every boy you hang out with is looking for a wife and may want to marry you because you're that awesome" stage. 

But sometimes men aren't always happy in the friend zone. 

The Roommate is a prime example. You see, we've been friends for quite some time. I'd say about 9 months. This summer, he has basically become our seventh roommate. He comes over every night. Makes dinner with us. Has family council with us. Drives us places. 

Now that I think about it, he was almost like a father figure. (But only if you have a crazy hyper father.) 

I recall about a month ago when we were sitting out in our family room and had a calm conversation about farting and how different it was for guys and girls to pee. That's when I knew we had arrived. We could really talk about anything. 

Now, before I dive into the "romance" section of this post, please note that The Roommate just got out of a relationship. And he tends to move way fast when he has his eyes on a woman. 

Looking back, I can tell his feelings began developing before last weekend. However, i will begin there so as not to bore you. 

He came home with me. I was going to visit my family, he had nothing to do.... so, naturally, he came. By the end of the two days, I'd spent a straight 48 hours with him and I'm quite positive he was overwhelmed by how wonderful my family is. (Maybe I should blame them for this, actually.) 

First Tip-off: He started planning little things for us to do together in the future. I'd say I wanted to do something and he would suggest planning it... in a datey kind of way. Which was weird, considering we always did stuff with my roommates there as well. 

Second tip-off: We always joke around when people ask if we're married/dating. This actually happens quite often. However, the joking stopped. It actually became quite awkward. 

So Sunday night after returning home I was royally confused. However, I convinced myself it would fade in the coming week. Even though I knew deep down that it wouldn't. 

I was right. 

The next day, The Roommate tagged along to our 24th of July Celebration with my whole apartment. When the festivities ended, I headed up to visit Mr. Valentine. Not thinking properly, I brought The Roommate with me. He wanted to come and I was so accustomed to him tagging along. 

Dating Rule #63: Don't ever bring another boy along when you're going to visit a "potential". 

On the ride home, the conversation went something like this:

Anonymous Boy (To The Roommate): So, who in her apartment do you like? 

The Roommate: Uh.... Well, you see we've been friends for a long time and when my friends all left this summer..
(I freak out inside.)

AB: So, who in her apartment do you like?

TR: When I first met them, I kinda dated one of them but that ended really fast and... 

AB: So, who in her apartment do you like? 

(Who IS this kid? He wouldn't give up!?! I freak out more inside.)

TR: Well there IS one of them and we've been doing a lot together lately. I went home with her last weekend and her family loves me. She is like my best friend and I have so much fun with her. I'm just really confused about what to do because i don't want it to make things weird with her apartment. Plus I want to make sure I'm not rebounding. But I REALLY REALLY don't think I am. 

(....................................................................................)

I literally had to turn my head to hide my face of freakingoutness. AHHHHH! 

I was completely convinced that The Roommate was going to DTR in the next 24 hours from the way he was saying this. After being dropped off, I decided to avoid being alone with him at all costs and just tried to act normal when I saw him next. 

Biggest dilemmas: How do I actually feel about this? Can I see myself with The Roommate, who i've never thought of in that way? We do have tons of fun together, but dating is a different story. Are we dating compatible? What am I going to say to him if he does talk to me? How much does he actually like me and is there a possiblity it will go away if I ignore it? 

Two days have passed since then. I'm not as dense anymore about things he does that show interest in me, but other than that everything is the same. 

And I'm only HALF freaking out about how all of this is going to end...


The One Timer: Over and Out.