The South Rises Again

There are very few things that truly knock me off my feet and leave me on the ground wondering what the heck to do with myself. This Southern gentlemen, The Fireman, was one of those few things. It isn't everyday that someone flies across the country to woo you with his maturity and fancy hair. (He put the "Big Sexy Hair," brand gel in his hair. This was the first thing that put me on guard. How can someone who puts "Big Sexy Hair" gel in HIS hair work with a girl who can't get a comb through HERS?)

Anyways, The Fireman did indeed fly across the country. I was assured that his intentions were completely pure, although his move-making throughout the week hinted to some interest.

He tried to cuddle with me, although I was curled up in a little ball on the opposite side of the couch with a sign that said "TOUCH AND DIE," over my forehead. When in life I'm knocked off my feet and wondering what to do, what do I do? Well, I assume the fetal position pose, play dead, and soon enough climb over him to go to bed. Everything about this situation screamed "ULTIMATE SHUT-DOWN," but The Fireman is bold, and he kept on trying.

He even tried running with me, the move every boy makes when he's interested. It's like an "I care about what you care about, and I want to impress you with the athletic skills I have" gesture. Dating rule #33: Don't forget to go to the bathroom before running. On the first run we went on, The Fireman had to poop so bad he couldn't even talk to me. On the second, I left him in the dust.

Here's the thing. I like The Fireman; I truly do. He's taken the time to get to know me, he's smart and attractive, he's older, (which appeals to the small portion of me which is mature,) and he's genuine and kind. He's actually the second best guy friend I've ever had. But, there was no spark. It may have been the run, it may have been the cuddling pose he attempted, our eyes three-inches away from each other, or it may have just been that I love someone else.

Whatever the reason, I'm still on the ground, utterly lost.

-The Heartbreaker