DTLOR: Define the Lack of Relationship.

One thing about me and men: I create a lot of unnecessary drama in my head.

But hey, at least I know that. So I can laugh at myself as I have mild freak outs randomly.

The Roommate situation kinda fell flat after our "confession" talk. (Aka - the talk during which he confessed his feelings for me and I acted confused and gave him no clues as to my real feelings) I left town, he left town, I left town again, and he moved out of the ward. This didn't leave much time for even seeing each other, let alone talking about serious relationshipy things. But, lucky for me, my mind wouldn't let go of the issue at hand. After week 3, it kinda started to eat me up. I needed to talk to him and tell him how I feel.

Let me explain these feelings of turmoil a little better: GUILT. I was feeling pretty dang guilty that he had poured his heart out and I just kinda gave him a shoulder shrug. The least I could do was tell him my thoughts.

So, I set up a talk time. First, I hate doing things like that. I would much prefer situations in which you could talk about serious things without being interrupted to come by spontaneously and unplanned. Planning them makes them seem so much more... well, serious. Not to mention the anxiety that anticipation can cause. Alas.

I met The Roommate and we immediately began talking like we always do. Catching up on life, telling jokes, laughing, blah blah blah. After about 25 minutes, I started to wonder how I was ever going to bring it up. We could clearly waste all our time fluff talking and not ever mention why we were actually there. Finally, I had to jump to the punch.

"Alright. No more of this. Time to talk about more serious things." Sadly, that was almost a direct quote. 

Dating Rule #82: When meeting a man for a "serious" relationship talk, don't postpone the inevitable for too long. You both now why you're REALLY there.. and it's not to talk about your new class schedule. 

It was hard to get out and explain, as it usually is, but I basically told him that part of me liked him, but I just didn't know how it would be to date him. He seemed to only hear the second part... and told me he kinda "figured" as much by my actions. The whole thing lasted under 10 minutes and ended with a resolution to go back to normal. Aka: brother and sister status? 

Now, for most people this would be nearly impossible. However, considering the personalities of both The Roommate and myself, I am quite convinced that this is EXACTLY what will happen. Back to normal.

Which is exactly what I want. Finally!

The One Timer: Over and Out.

I don't kiss just anyone. Usually.

My name is The Friendly Kisser. Yes, I do realize that the connotations of this name are not particularly positive, but let's get real here, most of our names on this blog do not have positive connotations.

Since my dating life is rather boring at the moment, I will inform the general populous of the basis of my name. Now keep in mind that there is a lot that goes along with most of these stories and I'm only telling the bare minimum. But these are some of my favorite stories because they are so entirely ridiculous. Also, no judgement... please and thank you.

The Hipster: I met the hipster the first week of last fall semester and I immediately adored him and found him fascinating. He was so unique and different from anyone I'd ever met and I was so attracted to that. Not physically attracted at first, just curiously attracted because I love watching interesting people. We spent lots of time together, not just the two of us, we were usually with our large group of friends. We shared our mutual love for reptiles and interest in discussing the basis of creativity and human thought. He is a very physical individual; I've never met a boy that just loves to be touched so much by everyone around him. Now I'm a very physical person as well (ever taken the 5 Love Language test? Physical Touch is one of my highest - this explains a lot, I know). Anyway, so from the very beginning we had a very physical friendship; I was always scratching his back or playing with his hair or we would even cuddle occasionally, though it meant nothing. Then one day we were watching a movie in his apartment and for some reason everyone else left halfway through. So then we ended up kissing. I was just like, "What in the world?! Where is this coming from? Do I even like him?" Then I just scratched those thoughts and kept kissing him. It was great. But then I got home and I was ashamed; I ended up not even telling my roommates about these happening for a couple months. I came to the conclusion that I did not in fact have feelings for The Hipster, and we continued to be very close friends. The fact that we had made-out through a solid portion of a movie never made things awkward and we never even discussed it.

The Gangster: I went to visit my best friend, who lives two hours a way, for a huge Mardi Gras party. She introduced me to one of her friends, The Gangster. He is Cambodian and had recently moved from just outside of Compton. Let's be serious now, he is the only boy I have ever kissed that had tattoos, and they were awesome. Yeah, he was pretty hardcore or something. He also turned out to be one of the sweetest, though not so bright, boys I've ever met. So we partied hard (nothing too crazy, just some excellent dance partying). I spent the whole night dancing with The Gangster and it was great. I had to leave to get on a plane by 6 the next morning, so I went running out to my car around 3. He came with me to the car and then just leaned in and laid one on me. I was completely surprised, but fine with it; he was not a bad kisser. Then I got in the car and watched him walk back inside And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the first and last time I spoke to or saw The Gangster.

Mr. Football: This man is a VERY large, black, college football player. He is from Gahna. He is outrageous. And he thinks he is so incredibly awesome. Ever since I first acquainted him, I have adored him. In my usual fashion, there is always a constant barrage of flirting going back and forth between the two of us. We attended a boating trip with a large group of friends and neighbors a few months ago, and one of the nights we were all standing around chatting. As a perfectly acceptable part of our conversation, Mr. Football kissed a friend of ours on the forehead and this friend exclaimed, "That's the first kiss I've ever had from a black man." Another friend then turned to me and stated: "I bet you want one." I just laughed and responded in my typical sarcastic way that of course I would. So Mr. Football promptly walked right up to me and kissed me full on the mouth right there in front everybody. I was entirely not expecting that, but went right along with it and it was spectacular. It was a great kiss. And everyone watched. And then everyone talked. I just laughed and we have continued our flirting friendship to this day, but when I'm around him, I always stay aware of the fact that he might kiss me again, which I would probably accept.

Now you have heard my three most ridiculous stories. Yes, I have a flirting problem. But I will have everyone know that I don't kiss just anyone. I have been quoted saying, "It's easy to kiss someone when you don't really like them." I stand by this statement. When I really like a boy, I am awkward and can not easily kiss them, or even talk to them like a normal person for that matter. It's a curse.

Now you understand me,
The Friendly Kisser

A Real Life Mr. Collins

Well, nothing exciting has happened in the past few weeks as far as dating goes, so I will tell you a little story from last year. It's not romantic. It's not cute. It's not frustrating. It's not even sad. It's just awkward.

Sometime at the beginning of December I went on a group blind date. I had never met anyone in my group prior to this evening and they were all pretty strange. All the boys, except one, were freshman--really obnoxious, immature, incredibly awkward freshman.When I look back on pictures I honestly don't remember who my date was out of these awkward boys or his name. Woops. All I remember about him is that he was a philosophy major, and let's be honest, that's all you really need to know to understand how my night went. Anyway, compared to these awkward, strange freshman, there was one boy in the group who seemed relatively normal. We will call him Mr. Collins. I ended up spending most of the night talking to him and left my date to happily flaunt his opinions about philosophy, politics, and religion to some other girl. When the night was over, Mr. Collins walked me across campus to my car and got my number. I drove away thinking he was pretty cute and that I wouldn't mind if he asked me out. A couple weeks later, he did! We went to lunch, and let's just say it was not exactly what I expected. He was nice, but it felt awkward...really awkward. The conversation was forced and choppy. With an awkward hug and a goodbye, we parted ways for Christmas break and I figured I would never hear from him again. To my surprise he texted me almost every day of the break! This was fine...but kind of overwhelming. Some days I didn't even text him back, but apparently that did not dampen his spirits. When we got back from break he asked me out again. At this point I was conflicted about the whole situation. I didn't really enjoy our date, but apparently he did! And he was really nice when we talked over the break, kind of awkward, but nice. I decided to chalk up his awkwardness to the fact that we'd only spent an hour together and some people are just a little awkward at first. So we went on a couple more dates that week. He made me lunch one afternoon at his apartment. It was actually more of a full course dinner- drinks, a main dish, 3 sides, and dessert. It was all terrible cooking, poor kid, but it was sweet of him to put all that effort in. But yet again, the date was awkward. However, everyone told me to give him a chance and look over the fact that he was kinda nerdy and wore huge New Balance white grandpa tennis shoes. Our next date we doubled with his best friend and his best friend's fiance. Yeah. I don't need to go into anymore details, you get the picture-awkward. Another night we went bowling and to get ice cream. This time I decided to have fun, so I did. Looking back on that night, I realized that I only had fun because I wanted to, Mr. Collins honestly had nothing to do with it. However, I couldn't see this at the time, so I finally thought things might be getting less awkward! Wrong. The next date was hands down one of the most awkward nights of my life. I was utterly confused about my feelings for Mr. Collins and of course needed some back up from my friends- The Heartbreaker and The One Timer. So I invited him to go get some frozen yogurt and to a game night with my friends. The night went pretty well for the most part. I have some pretty awesome friends, so we had a lot of fun! We ended up watching a movie, holding hands, and cuddling. Then came the 20 minute drive home. Just me and Mr. Collins. I can't remember exactly what happened, but I do remember it was the most awkward conversation we'd had yet...mostly because he didn't really talk much. I had to ask all the questions and his answers made me like Mr. Collins less and less. He made some women jokes (huge pet peeve of mine) and then told me about a hilarious time when he made fun of a disabled kid. Please note that at this time, I was a Special Ed major. This kid was losing points fast. By the time I dropped him off I had decided that I didn't ever care to see him again. One more awkward side hug goodbye and Mr. Collins would be out of my life, I thought. Well, apparently that's not what he was thinking. When I went in for the side hug, he went in for a kiss! Luckily, I have extremely fast reflexes so I dodged his face and continued on with the original plan of the awkward side hug. Whew! That was close. I told him goodbye, but Mr. Collins just sat there staring at me from the passenger seat. I must have done a really good job pretending I didn't notice that he tried to kiss me, cause Mr. Collins went in for a kiss AGAIN. There was no dodging this one. I decided I had three options. 1) Kiss him. 2) Cower in the corner of my car in the fetal position or 3) Say something to stop him. I refused to have my first kiss be a rape kiss from this awkward kid, so #1 was not an option. Although #2 was tempting, I decided it probably wouldn't go over well, so that left #3. I can't remember what I said, but whatever it was, it successfully got Mr. Collins out of my car and away from my face. By the time I got home, I had received a text from Mr. Collins. This is roughly what it said. "Hey, don't make plans for this weekend, because I'm gonna take you out." Umm excuse me??? I just rejected kissing him TWICE. What makes this guy so sure I would agree that he would A) not even ask and B) do this over text. Some people just can't take a hint. So the next day I decided I had to talk to him. I can't remember exactly what I said, but I tried to tell him as nicely as I could that I thought it would be better if we were just friends. He disagreed and tried to convince me otherwise, but I knew I could never date him. Moral of the story- Dating Rule #13) Never force yourself to try to have feelings for someone, no matter how flattering it is to have someone like you. and Dating Rule #44) If it starts out awkward, it's going to stay awkward.

-The Cautious Charmer

Mildly Pointless.

I went on another date. Let the celebration ensue.
It was joyous. Nothing over the top and nothing to get excited about, but we had fun. I went with a dear friend of mine whom I have known for years, who just recently returned from a 2 year jaunt in the Dominican Republic. It was so lovely to catch up with him and eat hamburgers and go to a rodeo. Truly, I love surprise rodeo dates. Also, firework shows are a wonderful thing. But I'm going to be honest here, I just felt kind of eh the whole time. It should have been a great, hilarious evening because I love my friend that I was with, but I kept thinking how much I wished I was with Library Boy instead. I was trying to be a great date and make it fun, but I felt like I was forcing it.
Rule #37: When you're on a date, be on that date. Try your very hardest not to think of other men.
Why, oh why, does Library Boy have to be so dang adorable and charming? Why must he take over my mind at inconvenient times when I'm trying to make myself stop thinking of him? That wretched boy is so wonderful, but it does not appear as though he returns my affection for him. Not that I would know for sure; I'm much more apt to sit and wonder what he's thinking than to actually go and ask him.

On a lighter note, I attended the wedding of Mr. Wickham this weekend. One of these days you will be privileged enough to hear that story. His wedding was fancy and interesting, and I was reassured that I am fully over my feelings for him. It was a very comforting weekend, considering how long it took for me to convince my heart to get over him.

This is a mildly pointless entry, but it all needed to be said. I apologize for my ramblings about Library Boy. I will attempt to keep them to a minimal in future posts. But I do not make any promises about that.

The Friendly Kisser.