Strange Attraction

It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was spending time staring at my computer, thinking about how much of my essay I would have finished had I started on it earlier that morning. I was too far-gone, though, as thoughts of my roommate’s recital that night flashed through my mind. I knew she was going to kill it, and the best part was that Juan was going to be there to witness it with me.

In case you didn’t notice, I really suck at coming up with codenames.

You see, Juan is the new boy that I’ve kinda been interested in lately. The best way I know how to describe my interest is that I’m strangely attracted to him. Yes, strangely. He is nothing like anyone I have ever liked in the past, especially when you compare him to the boy that I was finally able to get over after a year.

Don’t worry; I’ll get to him later.

While this boy, Juan, has all of the core attributes that I adore, including a killer sense of humor and awesome taste in music, he also has a lot of, let’s say, unique attributes. His favorite form of literature is a comic book, he has a plethora of cat shirts, he has a gnarly mustache, and he hates sports.

Yeah, he hates sports. Try to wrap your head around that one. This is the part where you ask me why I’m still attracted to him. I HAVE NO FETCHING IDEA.

To further the conundrum, I must also shed some light on my No Weenies policy. You see, if I meet a guy and feel like I can:

A) Beat him in an arm-wrestle,

B) Throw a football further than him, or

C) Do both at the same time,

Then we probably have a problem. I really don’t like the idea of me being the physically stronger person in a relationship. Some girls are all for that, but it just won’t work for me. I have an irrational fear of my husband one day coming to me and being like, “Hey honey, I can’t unscrew the lid to this jar. Will you do it for me?” And I’ll be like, “Yeah, let me take a break from lifting all these weights and use my masculine undertones to manhandle that for ya.”

Eww.

Anyway, this kid Juan is bordering on violating my No Weenies policy, but there’s something about him that fascinates me. He makes me laugh all the time, he’s super laid back and doesn’t take himself so seriously, and he knows what he wants to do in life. To me, that’s attractive. Everything else makes it, well, strangely attractive.

Now that my description of Juan is out of the way, I can get back to the story. So, I was waiting around my apartment semi-patiently for the night’s festivities when I got a call from a kid in my ward named Diddy. He asked me on a last-minute date, but I told him my situation with the recital and instead invited him to come to that. So, as expected, he did. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was for him to awkwardly follow me around for the remainder of the evening. It’s like he wasn’t there, but I knew he was there, always in my peripheral.

Don’t get me wrong, Diddy’s a great guy, but it was hard for me to give him the attention that he needed when I just wanted to be with Juan.

Oh, and remember that one guy I said I had finally gotten over? (We’ll call him MJ.) Yeah, don’t worry, but he came to the recital, too. The worst part was that he came alone, so I felt bad just leaving him there to fend for himself.

It was like I was torn between eating three completely different cakes. I knew for sure that I wanted one cake in particular, but I knew that I had to dabble in the other two or else they would somehow feel bad.

Wow. It is very possible that was the worst analogy I’ve ever come up with.

Finally Diddy and MJ made their exits and I was able to focus on just one boy again. Juan and a few of my roommates ended up coming back to my apartment to play games. We had just started when there was a knock at the door. In usual fashion, we yelled “Come In!” at the top of our lungs, curious as to who was there.

My mind wet itself as Brian walked in.

Dude! What the fetch are you doing here?!

Brian is the boy that I was nearly dating fall semester. Things were going great, but then Christmas break happened and things kind of fizzled. Being back to school I had seen him a few times, but nothing else had happened.

Oh, and did I mention that he’s Juan’s roommate? The plot thickens …

So these are the boys that have played significant parts in my life as of late. They're all so different, lending validity to my penname, but I have learned important lessons from each of them. I started with describing Juan because he's the one that is most recent, but I will definitely make sure to get to the others.

Stay tuned!

- Miss Inconsistent